tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69555747551697673422012-02-07T11:59:59.601-05:00A year in the life of this crazy city. One haiku a day. One day at a time.FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.comBlogger3841100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-29651543687386044252012-02-07T11:58:00.001-05:002012-02-07T11:59:59.607-05:00

High schoolers unleashedPushing, shrieking, holding handsAn orgy of youth

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-13974765588825356912012-02-06T09:29:00.001-05:002012-02-06T09:30:43.566-05:00

A bright green rain bootFull of pale pink peoniesWrapped in cellophane

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-15983586623245323332012-02-06T09:26:00.002-05:002012-02-06T09:29:48.216-05:00

A tall twitchy manPaces, holding a large cakeGrumbling to himselfPeriodically he would get very angry and pantomime throwing the cake onto the tracks. For reasons I can't quite explain this made me incredibly nervous.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-54388033337654038082012-02-03T09:22:00.005-05:002012-02-03T09:35:46.407-05:00

Their braces glintingPrecocious pre-teens gossipAbout who has crabsKids grow up so fast. These boys and girls were in vociferous agreement that a female classmate (not present) has crabs. Their reason? The poor girl got really upset when this group told the entire middle school that she has crabs. A sure sign of guilt.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-2790606774331854022012-02-02T12:11:00.003-05:002012-02-02T12:27:09.686-05:00

We get it. You're hipEven without the giantPBR tote bagJust in case we didn't get the message from her skinny jeans and ironic shop teacher glasses, her ironically huge Pabst Blue Ribbon bag lets us know that she is a card carrying hipster. This ironic bag is perfect for ironically carrying the ironically bad beer that she will ironically consume while ironically checking the balance on her

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-42015196442415126072012-01-24T10:04:00.004-05:002012-01-24T10:24:12.201-05:00

If anyone out there is keeping score at home, you may have noticed that we have a mere 17 haiku left to go before we hit 365 (far behind schedule, but hey -- life happens). The big question is, what should I do next? Keep haiku-ing? Do I stop at the magic number? Start a new writing project? Try to get a haiku book deal? I'm joking about the last one. Mostly. Ideas?

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-21537854391219620492012-01-18T14:38:00.004-05:002012-01-18T14:46:21.352-05:00

A pouchy-faced toadKnocks me clear out of the wayWith her umbrellaThe subway is a dog eat dog world, with a seat as the ultimate prize. This woman was a worthy adversary. Her savvy use of the "appear out of nowhere reverse umbrella bump with dirty look and purse block" maneuver was impressive. She won the battle, but not the war. Game ON.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-44753622170057562532012-01-13T20:36:00.003-05:002012-01-13T21:12:41.928-05:00

I step off the trainSmelling like the street meat thatFat guy was eating

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-22401561509871693432012-01-13T20:33:00.003-05:002012-01-13T20:35:41.310-05:00

I drift off to sleep And wake up in JamaicaQueens, not paradiseI go there a lot, and it never ceases to disappoint.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-3271852029109428822012-01-11T17:44:00.002-05:002012-01-11T17:49:06.190-05:00

For a few momentsNew York looks like all the starsFell to earth at once

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-30813290330150164802011-12-15T08:59:00.004-05:002011-12-15T09:09:04.449-05:00

I have a bunch of haiku in the pipeline, and it's all about one thing. I attended Occupy Wall Street's Day of Action in November. It was a very interesting experience, both intellectually and emotionally, and it provided me with a lot of material. Whether you agree with OWS or not (or simply don't care)I hope that you will read my upcoming posts with a sense of objectivity and see them for what

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-91371207339422980592011-11-21T08:56:00.003-05:002011-11-21T08:58:37.413-05:00

For the love of GodStop trying to save our soulsSubway preacher man Sometimes you can serve your cause better by SHUTTING THE HELL UP ON MY MONDAY MORNING COMMUTE.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-81876045147287425022011-11-02T10:24:00.002-04:002011-11-02T10:25:07.895-04:00

No doubt I'll appearIn a dozen Facebook picsA smirking backdropIt's all part of the Halloween aftermath.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-13629884353348353342011-11-01T09:00:00.000-04:002011-11-01T09:00:12.066-04:00

On November FirstLast night's revelers awakeWith frost-bitten boobs

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-80255494761313454622011-10-31T14:58:00.002-04:002011-10-31T14:59:07.593-04:00

Sexy schoolgirl squealsNaughty nurse shivers with coldSlutty cat looks boredSorry to overload with the Halloween haiku, it's just that this is a holiday that provides so much scope for the imagination!

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-63953493870563344222011-10-31T14:56:00.001-04:002011-10-31T14:57:59.924-04:00

Undeterred by coldA knot of naughty nursesBares goosepimpled fleshYou'd think people in the naughty medical profession would know better than to venture out into 30-degree weather with so little clothing.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-55700631820877745792011-10-29T14:42:00.004-04:002011-10-29T14:46:41.033-04:00

Perky coeds poseIn slutty Halloween garbLegs and bellies bareWhen it comes to Halloween costumes, the ladies have two (related) options: Sexy ____ and Slutty _____. There's not much difference between the two. Given the ratio of skin to fabric, they just might have to move Halloween to August.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-68679670975754912462011-10-29T14:38:00.003-04:002011-10-29T14:40:13.783-04:00

A plea for spare changeLoses its effect when youPull out your iPhone

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-59785283579851158252011-10-11T12:15:00.003-04:002011-10-11T12:21:25.123-04:00

Despite the bright sunToday tastes like heartburn andFeels like broken glassTo complete the sensory picture, today also sounds like nails on a chalkboard and smells like fresh subway vomit.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-22370772738617886142011-10-07T09:31:00.004-04:002011-10-07T09:38:37.249-04:00

Fall exudes tensionWe cling to life, surroundedBy death and decay Something about autumn makes me feel very keyed up. It's not exactly a bad feeling. I don't fear or dread the winter. It's more of a feeling of anticipation -- but with a strange layer of jitteriness because I don't know quite what I'm anticipating. It's a feeling of imminent change. Does anybody else feel this way?

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-83069085504246973982011-10-06T12:21:00.004-04:002011-10-06T12:27:46.873-04:00

Still learning restraintA novice guide dog lungesFor a dropped cookieThe guide dog on my morning commute was a model of restraint. She was like a big gold smiling statue of a lab. Miraculously, I saw another guide dog in the afternoon! This one was still in training. He was out with his foster father and a young kid, learning how to calmly take the subway. Frankly, I'm not entirely sure this

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-34241079520568492492011-10-06T12:17:00.002-04:002011-10-06T12:21:10.712-04:00

The guide dog grins asIf to say "I'm working, butYou should see me fetch"It is a well known fact that I am obsessed with guide dogs. All working dogs, in fact. I love them. I will move down the subway platform to be closer to them. I know I'm not allowed to pet them and it drives me crazy.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-58233452919106525872011-10-06T12:07:00.004-04:002011-10-06T12:12:51.338-04:00

The thick grey blue skyPresses against the waterI watch from the boatIntrepid Boyfriend recently said "you know, I used to date this really awesome girl who wrote haikus and posted them online." The fact that I immediately thought "What? Who was she?!" shows that I have been pretty delinquent in posting. It's not just that I've been busy (which I have), it's also a matter of inspiration. It's

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-64167495985174226392011-10-05T19:01:00.004-04:002011-10-05T19:22:28.949-04:00

Two tattooed hipstersEngrossed in a screaming matchEyes narrowed, lips curledI think these waifish, well-inked young ladies were roommates. The argument sounded like something this:Butterfly Arms: "I'm going to be late again because of you! You did this on purpose! Why do you ALWAYS do this?!"Tribal Designs: "You were going to be late anyway! You spend so much time on your stupid hair! AND you

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-87195393704367847442011-10-05T16:07:00.004-04:002011-10-05T16:13:56.510-04:00

A lone dozing manFells a dozen commutersWith his heinous gasI don't know if this guy had a bad breakfast burrito or what, but the stench was horrible enough that the guy next to me covered his face with his newspaper. At one point I started to wonder if he had actually crapped his pants.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-40517829498643454942011-09-14T11:14:00.004-04:002011-09-14T11:25:33.878-04:00

If equalityMeans I stand on the subwayBring back sexismFirst off, I'm obviously kidding. I hate sexism.But when I'm coming home from work with two bags of groceries, gym bag, lunch bag, and laptop/work bag, all I want is for one of the (blissfully unencumbered) gents who are studiously avoiding my gaze to offer me a seat on the subway. Guess how often that happens?This is not a "purse" town. When

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-7537926013146687222011-09-08T13:37:00.001-04:002011-09-08T13:38:06.201-04:00

On a crowded trainA salami sandwich isA potent weapon

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-80158062486569038012011-09-08T13:36:00.001-04:002011-09-08T13:37:21.622-04:00

A tall man with dreadsCoaxes music from a fluteLow and silvery

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-47955093617553287332011-08-29T14:44:00.003-04:002011-08-29T15:09:13.578-04:00

Excited children Scramble over fallen trees And split sidewalk tiles If there is one lesson to be learned from severe weather it is that everyone, regardless of age, gender, and ethnic background, loves to gawk at fallen trees. Intrepid Boyfriend and I are no exceptions. Our immediate neighborhood emerged relatively unscathed with two impressive tree casualties and one set of downed power lines

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-59968996162217590172011-08-27T21:25:00.003-04:002011-08-27T21:44:44.460-04:00

My office lurches The floor sways from side to side Like a high-rise boat It was my first earthquake, and it was frigging scary (and surprisingly nauseating). My office is on the 27th floor of a building that is sandwiched between two very famous NYC landmarks. So when the earthquake hit, we didn't think it was an earthquake. A lot of people are blathering about how everyone over-reacted. All

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-15562712379527546422011-08-27T21:11:00.003-04:002011-08-27T21:24:28.733-04:00

In a town picked clean I score saint candles in a Mexican deli I guess I waited to the last minute for my hurricane prep. We're not in a flood zone, so I figured I would have my pick of supplies. I filled all of our containers and bottles with water and we had plenty of food, but I still wanted to pick up some flashlight batteries and candles. Forget it. Everyone was sold out of water,

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-37655927415940010672011-08-27T21:06:00.004-04:002011-08-27T21:11:13.331-04:00

Our hatches battened We fill the tub with water And await the storm I haven't even had a chance to write about Tuesday's earthquake yet, and now we have another impending natural disaster on our hands.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-51312801943643333212011-08-25T15:15:00.002-04:002011-08-25T15:18:36.207-04:00

One good gust of wind And that plastered combover Reaches for the sky Midtown is essentially a wind tunnel. It wouldn't have mattered if he'd rubber cemented that thing to his head.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-11033657764346640202011-08-22T14:39:00.003-04:002011-08-22T14:42:53.988-04:00

Three small children busk With tiny violins as Their parents look on Maybe it was the kids' idea, but something about this little Asian Partridge Family made me vaguely uncomfortable.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-47869023641253625482011-08-11T09:18:00.002-04:002011-08-11T09:21:04.306-04:00

An old nut job rants Blaming a hot, crowded train On "the lesbians" I didn't see the connection, but in his mind it was clearly irrefutable.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-20570244282806223072011-08-09T10:42:00.003-04:002011-08-09T10:54:19.449-04:00

Long-sleeved, long-skirted Four bewigged girls discuss who's Pregnant and who's not To them, my life is all bare shoulders and immodesty and misplaced ambition. To me, their life is all baby-making and crockpots and straining within the confines of religion. I can only assume that we're wrong about each other, and probably have a lot more in common than we think.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-72258019830658659402011-08-05T09:37:00.003-04:002011-08-05T09:42:15.755-04:00

Wait -- are you sayingLady Liberty is notOn Staten Island?I like the moment on the Staten Island Ferry when all the tourists on the port side of the ferry realize that the Statute of Liberty is on the starboard side. A stampede ensues. It sort of feels like the whole boat might tip over. The only thing funnier is when someone realizes that the ferry isn't actually going to take them to the Statue

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-55039687037889321722011-08-05T09:33:00.002-04:002011-08-05T09:37:15.995-04:00

"It's Coney Island!" (wrong)"The Golden Gate!" (VERY wrong)"The Bronx!"(New Jersey)I like to laugh at tourists.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-30773848337091629122011-08-05T09:30:00.002-04:002011-08-05T09:32:39.503-04:00

Do you ever wishYou'd abstained from getting thatTattoo of Gumby?It took up his entire arm. I feel like that's the kind of thing where you wake up 5 years later (or the morning after you got it), look in the mirror, and say "dear god, what was I thinking?"

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-44409932822546929972011-08-05T09:25:00.005-04:002011-08-05T09:30:06.342-04:00

Sweet old police dogHard at work sniffing our bagsAnd wagging her tailThere is a very serious and distinguished black lab who works at the Staten Island Ferry terminal. I love dogs, and I love labs. And for some reason I love police dogs and guide dogs even more than I love unemployed dogs. I think it's because I'm not allowed to pet them. You know, because they're working.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-10324601503995246322011-07-27T08:49:00.002-04:002011-08-05T09:42:55.118-04:00

Oh, German touristsWith your chilly blond good looksAnd smug attitudesI always get the feeling that they are talking about how fat we Americans are.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-4682881383850717372011-07-27T08:48:00.000-04:002011-07-27T08:49:15.348-04:00

To we hot adultsPlayground sprinklers look like a Forbidden EdenOn a really hot day the jealousy is palpable.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-49889890419436372912011-07-27T08:47:00.001-04:002011-07-27T08:48:19.267-04:00

When it's 99Why would you suck on somethingYou just set on fire?

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-79870851806420393212011-07-25T10:38:00.003-04:002011-07-25T10:44:43.790-04:00

The beaches are closedOn this summer's hottest dayThanks to a shit spillOkay, the beaches weren't technically closed -- it was just a warning not to go in the water because a fire at a sewage treatment facility dumped a whole lot of excrement into the Hudson, where I would be surprised if anyone other than Detective Frank Drebin would notice a difference.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-48385428023428711372011-07-25T10:36:00.000-04:002011-07-25T10:37:45.474-04:00

The hydrant drenchesA flock of sodden childrenSplashing and laughingMy jealousy is palpable.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-77697613629845129322011-07-25T10:35:00.000-04:002011-07-25T10:36:46.524-04:00

I spend half the rideHoping that disgusting smellIsn't my armpitsThere's no delicate way to check. And even then, what would I do if I found out it was me?

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-82585779384105860762011-07-25T10:32:00.000-04:002011-07-25T10:35:36.190-04:00

Swathed in a black dressA woman beaches herselfOn a vacant bench She wasn't fat or anything, but between her starkly white skin, black dress, and sprawling body, all I could think of was killer whale.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-61592898324227999492011-07-22T13:40:00.002-04:002011-07-22T13:42:21.738-04:00

A telltale damp streakLeft behind by a behindIt's butt sweat seasonIf you've ever taken the subway on a day like today you know exactly what I'm talking about.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-17608144757723777072011-07-22T13:24:00.002-04:002011-07-22T13:33:26.366-04:00

Summer, a grotesqueCarnival of slick faces And wilting costumesThe fashion show that is the New York City commute is looking decidedly bedraggled these days. Not surprising, since the mercury reached 103 by noon today.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-70532008560649490142011-07-14T10:50:00.005-04:002011-07-14T11:09:29.652-04:00

This hard city weepsFor the sweet-faced little boyWho never came homeRecent events in Kensington, Brooklyn have captured the attention of the entire city, if not the nation. Like any New York neighborhood, Kensington feels like a small town in many ways. You see and interact with the same people on a regular basis. People often smile at one another. There are many, many families with young

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-1260793266766078552011-07-13T11:35:00.006-04:002011-07-13T11:45:03.665-04:00

Two men push a cartFull of two whole sides of goatRaw, red and bony There is a large Muslim population in our neighborhood, and the Halal butcher and grocery does a brisk business. This is the first time I happened upon a delivery of uncut meat going into a butcher shop. It was surreal. I sincerely hope that this is the last time I happen upon any kind of delivery going into a butcher shop.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-3401663558363898042011-07-12T10:10:00.001-04:002011-07-12T10:12:05.828-04:00

The mercury soarsThe sun bakes bloated trash bagsLike stinking blistersHow's that for a revolting image?

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-58127506690984972182011-07-12T10:05:00.002-04:002011-07-12T10:10:37.862-04:00

She whips out scissorsAnd snips her son's cuticlesWith alarming zealLet's have a quick review of acceptable subway behavior, shall we? It's perfectly fine to sit quietly, read, listen to music that is not audible to other people, and avoid interactions with other people. It is not okay to do anything that you would normally do in your own bathroom, including, but in now way limited to, nail

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-74405165849062388342011-07-08T20:03:00.001-04:002011-07-08T20:05:36.177-04:00

A woman lights upOutside of Sloan-KetteringIrony definedShe certainly relished that cigarette.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-90870041044531445682011-06-30T21:20:00.004-04:002011-06-30T21:31:33.334-04:00

Grizzled metalheadLike his Motorhead t-shirtHas seen better daysHe'd cut the sleeves off to show off his arms, which were covered in tattoos of big-haired rock stars, flames, the AC/DC logo, and an inexplicable memorial portrait of Waylon Jennings. I was going to link to Motorhead's official site, but it's kind of scary. Not so much because of the skulls and stuff, but because those guys are

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-53210040701175106332011-06-30T09:27:00.000-04:002011-06-30T09:28:12.261-04:00

Immersed in a bookHer delicate lined face showsThe beauty of age

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-38486735717272859562011-06-29T10:00:00.000-04:002011-06-29T10:00:04.203-04:00

A long sharp hatpinTwirls across the subway floorLooking for a footIs your tetanus up to date?

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-87068348364660506692011-06-28T16:28:00.003-04:002011-06-28T16:33:26.120-04:00

Sweet coconut bitsEnrobed in burnt sugar, likeEdible jewelsNuts 4 Nuts is my kryptonite, so let's raise a tiny wax paper bag of sugary deliciousness in celebration.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-26576719368238582912011-06-28T16:25:00.004-04:002011-06-28T16:28:29.036-04:00

That's right, Mr. InkHuff and puff when people stareAt your tattooed faceWhile I'm sure most body art has deep spiritual and artistic significance, I have to assume that at least part of its purpose is to attract attention. If you really don't want people to gawk at your tattoo, get it on your butt.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-12460487649797193582011-06-28T16:21:00.003-04:002011-06-28T16:25:15.614-04:00

Her froth of white hairLike a crisp shiny meringueFresh from the ovenI would rather go snow white than gray, but I'm not sure I want my hair to move into confection-helmet territory.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-31104041677516781392011-06-27T09:25:00.002-04:002011-06-27T09:29:07.026-04:00

From the very funny 6feet1, who occasionally rants here:Friend, that subway poleIs not yours. Hands only, please.Are you a stripper?Ah yes, the subway pole dance. As someone who tries really hard not to touch anything on the subway, I don't understand the people who wrap their entire bodies around the pole.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-26515644326229299572011-06-23T18:16:00.000-04:002011-06-23T18:16:00.153-04:00

A Ghandi-esque manPedals a girl's bicyclePink streamers flyingThat's a new one for me. The man was tall, frail, and clad in a long white tunic and trousers. He rode his pink and white child-sized bike down the crowded sidewalk next to Bryant Park, smiling and waving his best Queen Elizabeth wave. There's a story there.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-87146927116091264822011-06-23T18:14:00.000-04:002011-06-23T18:14:00.160-04:00

This city treats youLike a standoffish loverYou can't bear to leaveAnybody else ever feel that way about this place?

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-62227380913398520952011-06-22T18:12:00.000-04:002011-06-22T18:12:00.168-04:00

New York breaks your heartThen patches it together With one kind gesture

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-58789633649046473072011-06-21T18:11:00.000-04:002011-06-21T18:11:00.249-04:00

That is not a dressIt might be a tourniquetBut it's not a dress

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-25519540892957231952011-06-20T18:08:00.001-04:002011-06-20T18:08:00.216-04:00

That skirt would be smallOn a woman half your sizeOn you it's a belt

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-18301099261356820062011-06-19T18:07:00.000-04:002011-06-19T18:07:00.408-04:00

A moment of hopeThe frantic scratching of aLottery ticketBetter luck next time, man.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-37839839778166908592011-06-18T17:56:00.003-04:002011-06-18T18:07:46.509-04:00

A droopy babyAll ringlets and chubby legsRubs his sleepy eyesI'm not very interested in babies, but for some reason this little cherub awakened all the emotions that I usually reserve for Cairn terriers.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-7613697145100526832011-06-18T17:52:00.002-04:002011-06-18T17:56:30.477-04:00

The girl in cutoffsAnd her blond, corn-fed husbandLook like IowaI've never been to Iowa, but I've had a good feeling about it since 1989. Why 1989? Because that's when Field of Dreams came out. I'm guessing these fresh-faced kids were transplants from someplace where no one throws bags of chicken carcasses out the kitchen window and public urination is minimal.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-7506611417054039482011-06-16T15:30:00.004-04:002011-06-16T15:39:04.017-04:00

A red-eyed womanWipes her nose on her head scarfThen sneezes on itAs a frequent sinus infection sufferer, I definitely know the "any port in a storm" feeling that happens when you're caught without a tissue. I've turned to napkins, stray pieces of paper, fossilized purse tissues, even large maple leaves. But I've always made on effort to clean my drippy nose with things that were not attached to

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-42002980033061282842011-06-16T15:18:00.003-04:002011-06-16T15:30:11.701-04:00

An old New YorkerAdvises French tourists onSites not to be missedShe was a leggy Black woman in short shorts with a heavy French accent and two friends who didn't speak any English. He was a silver-haired man with a yarmulke and a briefcase. They were so engrossed in their conversation that it looked like they knew each other well. Then I realized she was holding a guidebook and he was saying

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-80469237240142217062011-06-15T14:51:00.003-04:002011-06-15T14:53:45.847-04:00

If you're throwing trashOut of your car window, thenPlease start with yourselfBecause anyone who flings a handful of dirty tissues out their window at an intersection is a real class act.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-65263834364643883472011-06-10T11:23:00.003-04:002011-06-10T11:29:03.929-04:00

Her shirt screams "SEXY!!"And she's got a Conway bagFull of Summer's EveI didn't even know they still made that stuff. Granted, she bought it at Conway, where it could have been sitting in the basement next to the mattresses since 1987.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-44949357651128302272011-06-09T12:07:00.002-04:002011-06-09T12:13:13.508-04:00

You got off the trainBut you left something behindWe can still smell you Summer in New York begs the question: can you die from an odor?

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-8833462964085503372011-06-08T12:03:00.002-04:002011-06-08T12:10:15.203-04:00

Welcome to New York's first official heat wave of the year. We swim through the streetsChoking on humidityAnd collective funkI have no delusions about remaining fresh as a daisy on my commute when the mercury hits 80. Once it hits 95, I no longer have the energy to be embarrassed about my pit stains. We can't install our A/C unit because they are doing construction on the front of our building

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-57492912651916200862011-06-06T21:56:00.001-04:002011-06-06T21:56:00.194-04:00

Somewhere under theEast River, Brooklyn beginsAnd welcomes you homeWith a resounding ear pop, in my case. But maybe that's just because I have weird Eustachian tubes. And if you don't already love Brooklyn, these amusing/ridiculous signs brought to you by local buffoon and perennial borough president Marty Markowitz just might win you over.P.S. Many people insist that no one in Brooklyn actually

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-19930144553803311122011-06-06T09:36:00.000-04:002011-06-06T09:36:01.020-04:00

Far underwaterYou can hear the differenceBetween the boroughsRiding the F train through the underwater stretch between East Broadway (Manhattan) and York Street (Brooklyn) always makes my ears pop a few times. Whenever I am coming home I feel an immense and inexplicable relief when the train leaves Manhattan (although I get antsy if I think too much about being in a tunnel underwater). I pretty

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-44093501832972745592011-06-05T21:32:00.004-04:002011-06-05T21:32:00.129-04:00

Without my iPodMy commuting bubble breaksLeaving me exposedSometimes technology creates a protective shell with which we are loath to part. If you take out your headphones, people might try to engage you in conversation or ask you for directions. The horror.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-83493379366207300002011-06-05T09:53:00.001-04:002011-06-05T09:53:00.670-04:00

It is good to shareExcept when you're listening To Justin BieberTake a stand against iPod headphone leakage. In related news, I love this story from the Times a few years ago.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-22031730953215442812011-06-04T09:51:00.000-04:002011-06-04T09:51:00.840-04:00

Two mothers make listsOf the things their kids will workOut in therapyI'm not a parent, but I already have a mental list going on the off chance that I do have a child one day.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-12570184286436897772011-06-03T09:50:00.003-04:002011-06-03T09:51:18.970-04:00

You reach in your noseGrasp a nose hair and yank withObvious gustoHe was really enjoying himself.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-76122705083024916332011-06-03T09:40:00.003-04:002011-06-03T09:49:52.368-04:00

A seat opens upI gleefully slide awayFrom your hacking coughSmoker's cough knows no season. On the subject of smoking, kudos to NYC for banning smoking in public parks. Ku-DON'Ts to Mayor Bloomberg for expecting regular people to enforce it. I was at the Boathouse over the weekend and a surly bikini-clad young woman lit up an obligatory American spirit. I toyed with the idea of reminding her that

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-64921546131315483842011-05-29T11:44:00.005-04:002011-05-29T12:11:07.435-04:00

Gray hairs dangle from The mole on her aged jaw And brush her shoulderLiving in close quarters with 8 million people, you see a lot of interesting faces. I could not take my eyes off the large mole on this woman's face. It wasn't so much the mole itself as the prodigious amount of hair growing out of it, lazily twisting all the way to her collarbone. Part of me sees something like this and thinks

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-43350562503890312532011-05-20T11:58:00.002-04:002011-05-20T12:00:21.652-04:00

A haiku about someone at work:Her heart radiatesWarmth like an old gym sock that Somebody pooped inWell. We all know someone like that.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-59511760569489333412011-05-09T09:18:00.003-04:002011-05-09T09:20:13.012-04:00

Biting and acridThe smell of stale cigarettesLeaks out of your poresOne of the most difficult aspects of mass transit is the inescapable barrage of odors.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-11969538457951537182011-04-22T22:42:00.000-04:002011-04-22T22:42:00.201-04:00

It's hard to look toughWhen your wallet chain connectsTo a fanny packIt was studded -- just like his belt, jacket, and boots. He looked like the unlikely offspring of Joan Jett and a soccer mom.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-51902051778355555692011-04-22T22:39:00.000-04:002011-04-22T22:39:00.132-04:00

UnbelievablePlease explain why I am a Subway barf magnetTwice in one week? Really? I am now officially terrified of mass transit.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-75829673487498690312011-04-21T11:03:00.000-04:002011-04-21T11:03:00.128-04:00

"A" for effort but8AM is too earlyFor accordionsBut maybe that's just me.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-33801288529712884862011-04-20T11:16:00.000-04:002011-04-20T11:16:00.322-04:00

The last thing I seeAs I drift off to sleep isYour ill-fitting pantsI don't like pleats on men.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-47567902178760882722011-04-19T11:06:00.001-04:002011-04-19T11:06:00.291-04:00

The doors slide openYou burst forth and unleash theContents of your gutIt could have been worse. It could have happened on me. I'm pretty sure I need to start traveling in a bubble.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-24436920596953582782011-04-18T11:04:00.002-04:002011-04-18T11:04:00.340-04:00

Spring seems far awayWhen April is a cold joke Sent to break your heartHopefully by the time this haiku auto-posts in a few days it will be sunny and in the 70s, and I will eat my words.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-32319000105575739932011-04-17T08:14:00.001-04:002011-04-17T08:14:00.527-04:00

With a phlegmy snortYou clear your clogged sinusesNext to my left earSometimes all I want is a little personal space.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-45818649466547955782011-04-16T08:10:00.000-04:002011-04-16T08:10:00.248-04:00

You think you're so slyPicking your nose with your thumbBut it's obviousThis is why I don't touch anything, ever, on the subway if I can possibly avoid it.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-32295692855541985532011-04-15T08:04:00.001-04:002011-04-17T11:06:31.200-04:00

Lanky hipster boyHow'd you get those mammoth feetThrough your skinny jeans?They must have been jeggings.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-73879083360768836392011-04-14T08:02:00.002-04:002011-04-14T08:02:00.785-04:00

I would just like to point out that I have officially written and published a whopping 265 haiku. Sure, I'm significantly behind schedule, but I'm only 100 haiku away from my original goal of 365!

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-211947660013565462011-04-14T07:57:00.000-04:002011-04-14T07:57:00.809-04:00

Like winter's last stormA cascade of flaky whiteBlankets your shouldersI try not to mock people's personal appearances (well, at least not the aspects they can't control), but sometimes I feel the need to report on certain things in a detached pseudo-journalistic manner just because they are so striking. This woman's dandruff was one of those things. Like so many things in New York, it was both

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-63423764050828815442011-04-13T07:34:00.000-04:002011-04-13T07:34:00.320-04:00

You know you've struck outWhen the girls get off the trainJust to avoid youThere are a few very simple unwritten rules of mass transit. One of the most important ones is that you never stand or sit closer to anyone than is absolutely necessary. It doesn't matter if you look like this guy; you will creep people out if you get too close. This schlubby guy across from me was trying really hard to

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-45338443144517011862011-04-12T07:30:00.000-04:002011-04-12T07:30:02.090-04:00

Subway stalactitesReach for unsuspecting headsSlowly, saltilyI haven't been able to get a decent picture of these soda straw-like ceiling formations. You can find them in many of the older stations, wherever the water drips after it rains.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-78906274821843355812011-04-11T07:26:00.001-04:002011-04-17T11:08:17.336-04:00

Old school girdles andVoluminous underpantsSold by two old menI forgot to mention that Mattie paid me one of the kindest compliments ever. After we'd been chatting for a long time he paused, smiled, and said "You're a very good listener. Something about you just makes me want to tell you these stories. "Aw, shucks. Blush.

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6955574755169767342.post-38593471063750029252011-04-10T07:06:00.000-04:002011-04-10T07:06:00.313-04:00

Surrounded by changeAn old man tells tales of aNeighborhood that wasThe first thing you should know is that I hate shopping. The second thing you should know is that I loathe going to a giant store when all I need are black socks. Imagine my delight when I read this article about a tiny old shop in nearby Carroll Gardens (the author says Cobble Hill. She's wrong.) that could help me to avoid the

FiveSevenFivehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13546328723441373648noreply@blogger.com0