Fine, I guess I'll stand
Heaven forbid you should stop
Airing out your junk
(You want to know how to really freak men out? Wedge yourself into the space between two junk-airing offenders on a crowded train. They will try to squeeze you out by splaying their legs even wider, but don't back down. Over the course of a few stops, assume typical male subway posture. Be patient. Don't rush this, or you'll risk losing the element of surprise. Your hard work will be rewarded when, in an obvious panic, both men decide they'd rather stand than sit next to a crazy gender-bender with the gall to let her knee touch theirs.)
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