Watch the angry queen
Sing to his reflection, then
Try to pick a fight
I was on the long, long ride back from Queens. The guy across from me was deeply involved in serenading himself in the window behind me. I'm not sure what he was listening to, but his performance involved a lot of finger pointing, feigned tears, and coy looks. Then he caught the eye of the guy next to me, and this happened:
Male Diva (in drawling Queens accent): "You wanna fight?"
Confused Guy: blank stare
He-va: "You don't like me? You don't like what I'm doing?!"
Guy: blank stare
Angry Sputtering Queen: "Because you don't control me! YOU don't control ME! I CONTROL ME!"
The obvious response was "barely," but I kept my mouth shut. The queen continued his elaborate pantomime until Rockefeller Center, with the addition of frequent obscene gestures aimed at Mr. Blank Stare.
And this, my friends, is why you never make eye contact on the train.