Day 195: Infant communication

You want a bottle?
Mommy's got a Blackberry
Just send her a text

Wouldn't it be great if babies could do that? Think of the screaming and tears that would be saved. I'm sure Park Slope is piloting a Baby Blackberry program already. Baby texting classes are going to be the new baby sign language classes.

Day 186: Is there an app for that?

Your child tugs your hand
But who needs parenting when
You have an iPhone?

Day 181: A romantic evening

It's the perfect date:
Him with his Blackberry and
Her with her iPhone

Is there anything more romantic than dressing up in your best clothes, scoring a table on the terrace at a trendy restaurant, ordering a nice bottle of wine, and proceeding to ignore each other for the entire evening? Why talk to your date when you can scope Facebook for somebody better looking who will take you someplace even trendier?

Day 174: I think they hear you in Connecticut

Streams of expletives
Precede him down the street like
Large venomous snakes

This man's fluency in profanity was almost as impressive as his vocal projection skills. I heard him coming from two full blocks away. Whoever was on the receiving end of that phone call must have really raised this guy's ire.

Day 127

Good thing that you have
That iPhone so you don't have
To talk to your kid

Day 69: I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

For you to buy better headphones.

Thank you for sharing
Your lousy taste in music
With this entire car

(Don't worry, Mr. Middle-Aged Spice Girls Fan. Your secret is safe with us.)

Day 23

Really glad I know
The details of your sad life
Thanks to your Nextel

Day 22

I can't help but stare
For a girl with pink talons
You text quite deftly

Day 16 (slightly early)

Raving lunatic
Or businessman with Bluetooth?
The jury is out